Name Awards

Ortsbo is a great new product with an awful, awful name.

Wow. I know short names are in short supply. But where on earth did Intertainment Media come up with Ortsbo? And they are a great new real time language  translation app for all sorts of chat environments. Which means they probably have some linguists on staff.

What happened? Are your linguists over the top Ph.D’s that have lost touch with the real world? Or are they purposefully trying to be weird and awkward?

This name bothers me, a humble, practical, professional namer who has been fascinated by the power (or destructive power) of names since I was a teenager. I had to even write it down to remember it.. and I am someone who eats, sleeps and breathes naming. What’s more, they claim to help companies engage in branding. Engage? When you can’t spell or pronounce the name?

In fact the name bothers me so much I am going to take part of President’s Day off  tomorrow to do a full analysis for the name critic on Brighter Naming.

Sometimes the awkwardness of the name is part of the brand appeal.

It is not hard to see how Schlafly beer got its name when you realize Dan Schlafly is the president. How they are succeeding in St Louis, of all places, is however a different story. It is a classic David and Goliath scenario, as well as one for the Guerilla Marketing folks and is briefly documented in the Jan 23rd issue of Business Week.

Other things being equal, I  (and many other consumers) might not even taste this beer simply because we can’t pronounce the name. On the other hand, when given the only alternative choice in a sea of sameness, many of us change our mind…regardless of the name. Hurts for a naming guy to say that….but such is reality and once or twice a year I have to get it off my chest.

We wish them well standing up to Anheuser Busch in their own stadium in their own home town. Shows how a good product with energetic marketing can make it anywhere…. and they all remember the product as the one with the weird name.

Venmo is almost a name no more

After reviewing some great new names here recently, there was bound to pop up on the radar one that is not so hot. There may be a marketplace for this application to share payments with friends – especially the modern youth who can’t even figure a bar tab split without a calculator – but will you remember the name Venmo when you need it?

Apart from unknown root word meanings, this rotten name has poor alliteration, forcing you to pronounce it as two words, thereby losing all the magic of the shortness of two syllables. When you are naming payment systems that are smooth and easy to use on the go, you need a name that is smooth too.

And if you are stuck with an awkward name, spend some money on a graphics designer who gives you a logo with some real class and pizzaz……. not just another case of boring lower case-itis.

Oh well, back to our old friends at Paypal or Quickbooks.

Blekko is like a blah gekko name. What a pity.

I sure do like the functionality of the new Blekko search engine. Finally one that feeds up real results without duplicates and with real content sites, not those stuffed in by bad SEO people around the world.

But I am having a very hard time warming up to the name Blekko. Firstly I don’t get it at all – what is it supposed to mean, if anything? And secondly, didn’t some native English speaker say it out loud before they settled on it? Phonetically it is very guttural and negative or depressing sounding – though it may play well in Eastern Europe or some other culture. I notice, however, that their trademark filing says it has no meaning in any foreign language.

When you are doing great science in a crowded technology space, you have to do at least good marketing to cut through the noise so that more than just the aficionados discover you. And the most used piece of your marketing message is usually the name. It is not often that I suggest an outright name change, but this is one of those cases.
P.S. And don’t go back to dotslash.com either… just as bad.

Kansas goes sporting for a new name and logo

Everyone knew it was time that Kansas got rid of their Wiz moniker and found a better soccer club name. Finally they use their new stadium as an excuse to become Sporting Kansas City, then promptly put a giant SC in their logo. Maybe this is an interim step to a more generic Sporting City name. As Sporting City they can easily be sold to any town that just then puts their town name above the logo.

It is a very sad day for any team’s fans when they have to have the logo explained to them. Turns out the SC is the connection to the parent organization. Give over man. How many fans know the name of the parent holding company of their favorite team?  Or even care?  And why do they get to be used as an excuse to make a confusing logo? Shame on your board of directors Kansas City non wizards. You call the website SportingKC which is surely how the name will most be abbreviated. Now explain to a 6 year old soccer fan why it is spelled SC?!

Locals might recognize the supposed crest in the left of the logo as the shape of the stateline boundaries around the city. The rest of us will just think it is support hose for their tired old owners to wear to games.

Vidyo is a street gutter name

It isn’t often a name of a successful high tech startup really gets under my skin, but this is one that does. Maybe it is because I don’t follow (or speak) rough rap style, nor with an Israeli or Eastern European accent, but these two syllables just don’t belong together.

Of course, I assumed from the outset that it was pronounced Vid Yo and not video, because they have a registered trademark and video is a generic word (and trademarks are filed phonetically) which cannot be trademarked.

Seems like their new tie in with H-P is just in time. Now H-P will be able to have more video surveillance of their executives and what they were really doing with their marketing contractors when they claim those big expense account charges.

Blooming Business Week let their brand fans down

A long time ago I went to my first big branding conference where an executive from one of the big branding agencies of the world, in reply to an audience question said: “Never change a brand unless it is broken.”

Yes, there are exceptions and other situations. But the one that really bugs me is when management ignore all the know wisdom of the marketing industry because ego gets in the way – and forever more makes marketing their business, products or services an extra chore for the team involved, as well as their customers too.

I have been a loyal reader of Business Week for many years, even scooping up my son’s copy when my subscription accidentally lapsed. But now it got sold off. So what. Doesn’t mean I want any direct association with the new owners – especially when that gives them a whole NY financial slant that doesn’t necessarily play as well across the rest of the country.

The inside makeover is great… and much to my point, the one good weekly read that is not all about financial results and numbers. So why take a great brand name and dilute it so badly by making it longer. If you want to promote your parent company fine, but why foist it off on us loyal readers… especially when you even drop it down to a drab black and white text logo.

Oh McGraw Hill, why did you have to sell it off?

When the name and logo are at odds

Sometimes when we do name audits for clients we find there is nothing wrong with the name, but there may be a problem with the logo and other visual identity. Here are two from my old neighborhood that were always driving me nuts, even though colorful and bold and still successful.

Air National Guard’s Rescue Wing -  look more like feet to me!

And at the height of summer St. Stephens Green might be partially hidden in the greenery, but why did they have to paint in blue? It dropped 2 points on my elegance scale immediately. Of course, after you have had a pint or two and tried their great menu, you probably won’t care.

Intel back to numbers – but model years?

Ever since the Pentium came out it has been no big industry secret that many engineers at Intel harked for the days of the 486 and similar number nomenclatures. Well finally Intel is back to numbers.. but what an extreme tactic!

They are promoting their 2010 Core Processors widely right now. Maybe, just maybe, they will get some significant market share to notice before all the big auto companies start promoting their 2011 models starting Labor Day (first weekend in Sept).

Then who will want a 2010? Maybe get one on a dealer incentive fire sale day just like the older car models?  Will we have a Blue Book for chip values? And since no one owns a date, we are looking forward to the AM 2010 (or better still, with perfect vision, the AM 2020 or similar name from competitors).

PS Yes, it comes in 3 flavors. But would you buy a product with only a 3 Star Rating? (See graphics). Maybe that is their trick to push you to the i5 model. Grrrrr.

How many ways can you create eco and green names?

At the upcoming Sustainable Brands conference (June in Monterey, Calif) I will be debating using good grammar and the right words to reposition a brand as green and ecological vs giving the product line (or even company) a whole new name. Since I am pro all new name, I am especially conscious nowadays of such new eco names. So darned if I didn’t practically trip over the display case of Ecolution cookware right in the middle of the aisle.

My debating colleague might argue that with this color scheme and graphics, any name can be made to look green and eco friendly, without having to introduce an awkward new word. True, but on the phone? And by Word of Mouth? Yes, it is slightly unusual, but the public can easily get used to anything.  In fact, there are a number of unrelated consumer lines, including shoes, that also have a trademark on Ecolution.

What do you think? Send me some great new green names I can use as examples.