01.11.08
Posted in Rotten Names at 10:41 am by Athol
Ever noticed how certain sounds or roots have very specific connotations, even when there is no specific linguistic reasoning behind them? Of course, this is usually because of association with some other better known word or name. While it is not a generally true statement, a lot of “ster” ending names stir up trouble.
It all started with the association with mobster I believe. At times, Teamster also had many bad overtones. So when Napster came along it just seemed like crookery to me from the start.. especially because it is almost Nabster. And then came Grokster. An awful name with awful connotations for modern electronic mobster shanningans.
So be careful if your new name ends in “ster” even if you are trying to imply you are a group of people trying to achieve something.
And if you are stupid enough to pay millions for a highly tainted brand name like Napster and try to make it legit - good luck to you. What are you buying? Sure the name awareness of many people.. but people that are aware it stands for free or stolen goods. It is a lot easier to introduce a new name to the proper cash paying public than to change the minds of hoards .. especially when they have satisfied their darkest desires on the old offerings. Unless of course your whole management team are all techies and don’t get consumer marketing.
We do notice that the cat nabber logo endures.. even though they are trying to make him a little friendlier, even though the design is very similar to the old 
devil face.
On a more positive note, perhaps Friendster will break the cycle here… although they sure have had their ups and downs and really only make money from their adult alternative lifestyle sites - which was surely not the original business plan.
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12.15.07
Posted in Rotten Names at 11:49 am by Athol
This week’s name award goes not to a name, but to David Pogue, a great
columnist of the NY Times who recently posted a good article on the garbage coming out of automatic name generators.
More importantly, he called out the companies like Doostang, Wufoo, Bliin, Thoof, Bebo, Meebo, Meemo, Kudit, Raketu, Etelos, Iyogi, Oyogi, Qoop, Fark, Kijiji, Zixxo and Zoogmo that are launching their Web 2.0 sites with these names. We couldn’t but agree more with him that the future of such companies is probably non-existent - unless they will only be dealing with aliens from outer space.
I guess that means they could work as gaming sites. But for the rest of the world, creativity is not ended. There is an endless supply of names that are a lot easier for humans to understand, use and embrace, even if they are not in the dictionary. But they are made up by humans with much smarter brains and resources.
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10.23.07
Posted in Rotten Names at 10:19 am by Athol
If ever there was a product Microsoft copied off Apple that really was a me too, it is the Zune. Not to worry, new and improved versions are coming Nov 13th with more gigabytes! Yawn. Have you seen the boring new print ads? Double yawn.
I predict this product will zune be gone from the market, long before the zunni’s are gone from the middle east. (I have commented before in my name critic column about the problems with this name.)
In the meantime, for something musical that really is cool - and different from
Apple’s offerings - check out the new Pacemaker.
Fun name, fun product. It’ll make your musical heart sing.
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09.22.07
Posted in Rotten Names at 7:17 pm by Athol
While VentureBeat gave a good mention to Xobni’s presentation at the recent Tech Crunch 40 in San Francisco, more than one person has asked me about this name. In short, no - it is not clever. Any name that has to continually be explained usually gets changed when they have some salespeople on the phones making 100 calls a day.
Don’t you think prospects will think they have backward salespeople if the first thing they hear is “Oh yes, that is our name, it is backwards for Inbox.” And when they do more than recover email, what then? Perhaps by then they will have raised enough money to pay a professional to get them a new name… and save as much the first month in squandered sales and marketing costs. Some people might even pronounce this name Sob Knee.
Reminds me of a friend’s email. Her name is fairly common, so she picked an email address where her name is spelled backwards. What a pain. No one gets it - or gets it right!
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09.21.07
Posted in Rotten Names at 3:17 pm by Athol
Yesterday’s Expo at the awfully named Plug and Play Tech Center had even the Mercury News commenting on some of the strange names making pitches for funding. If fact Scott Harris was reminded of his Dr. Seuss names when he saw companies like Moowee, Twiki and Planaroo.
In particular, he researched that the supposed root origins for Moowee are a little (wee) movie. Come on guys, any English 5th grader can tell you that Moowee is Cow Piss! This name rates a triple bomb… unless you have seen their logo which does a reasonable job of fixing a bad name. Imagine calling so bigger companies and explaining that you are from Moowee. Might work down on the farm though 
I wonder what Planaroo is all about. Especially why are they at a tech conference. Their logo makes it look like they are in the baby-planning business. Maybe it is biotech related.
In the much better naming category, maybe even the really good category, we like Bambi Francisco’s Vator.tv, even though I was slow on the draw realizing it came from Elevator Pitches. The name style is very interesting, even though it is a simple truncation once you realize what they do. And I should know. I literally made a pitch in an elevator to get my first job out of college.
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09.13.07
Posted in Rotten Names at 10:22 am by Athol
Many an executive has said (or at least thought) that any old name will do since they have such great technology or such a great solution, or even such a great sales force? But what happens when you grow up?
A123 Systems cut their teeth in lithium ion battery technology making batteries for RC Model cars. Then progressed to power tools. And now hybrid vehicles. The company is hot, hot, hot. (Hope the batteries are not!) So any old name will do. But really guys, A123 might work in the model car business. Isn’t it time for an adult name that doesn’t sound like you were just stuck and wanted to be at the front of the yellow pages?
Hint: Tesla has a great name, and they are also a hot startup. Maybe even your customer.
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08.09.07
Posted in Rotten Names at 10:01 am by Athol
Well this posting was delayed while I tried to review my opinion of Dell’s name for their new line of PC’s. But it is not aging any better, so I am coming right out and saying that Vostro is an ugly sounding name. Their lawyers might like it. Certain linguists might
make up stories about the rariefied roots. But certain names and word forms just don’t sound good. And this is one of them.
Compare this name with Sony’s VAIO. Very few people know that VAIO stands for Very Advanced I/O, but that doesn’t matter. This a coined unique word that doesn’t sound ugly. In fact, it has a nice open sound to it, even though it might have taken the brand power of Sony to promote such a name.
Come on Dell. You can do better than pulling names out of some language dump.
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07.09.07
Posted in Rotten Names at 8:46 am by Athol
Over the weekend I heard of two rotten new names that are not even worthy of a full analysis in my name critic column, but I offer them up here so you don’t make the same mistakes. In fact, can you even pronounce the names, let alone guess what field they might be in without reading further?
Firstly, Nugarc.com aspires to be the next Craig’s List, that magical internet village marketplace site. The business intentions may be great… but what do I tell my friends? Go to Nug Arc or Noo Garc or Nugar C … .. This name is trying too hard to be Craig Newton backwards - I think. Instead it deserves a four bombs award.
Now Enienay is shorthand for N.I.N.A. Wow. OK. May even work for this young designer clothing brand… but any nay is how I would have pronounced it. And is any nay as good as a definite nay, says the naysayer?
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